Sorry about yesterday...my fingers were tired. My professor inquired with me today about buying my cell phone. (At first I thought he was going to ask for my number...and I had 867-5309 on the tip of my tongue waiting - trying to hold back a smirk, but it wasn't needed - plus I don't believe Tommy Tutone got airplay this far East...so he wouldn't have got it anyway) He also offered to give me free instructions via email...so that's super helpful. I'm very comfortable w/ him as well, so there shouldn't be any feeling of shame on my part in asking him how to say certain cuss words in Arabic.

I'm deliberating over the cell phone proposal.

Kabeer and I had the following conversation 2 days ago while studying in the living room - and I find it useful to relay:

Kabeer: (muffled yet barely audible) Gilette...the best a man can get.
Me: did you just sing the Gilette commercial?
K: Yeah, it's been in my head all day
M: Don't be ashamed, it was a kick ass jingle
Both of us: Gilette the best a man can get!
M: I wonder if it's as catchy in Arabic?
K: Gilette - jeet whalid mumkin...
Both: Nahhh
Five minutes later
Me: (muffled yet barely audible) The best part of waking up is...
Both: ...Foldgers in your cup!
(Translation followed, and again wasn't found catchy.)

Tanya and I are rumored to be going to the American University bookstore tomorrow. We hear they have some pretty rare finds, and it's our Friday...so ahhhh what the hell.

I still also have time slots remaining for my "how long will I be delayed in Milan" pool - however it's filling up quickly. Grab yours before it's too late (only 4,526 possibilities left!)...the first prize will be a placemat from Pizza Hut in Arabic - and the second prize will be revealed tomorrow. But I won't stop at 2...rumor also has it that I may give away 4 prizes! I know, I know...someone's feeling generous these days.

I've got nothing today, but all is well - i hope it is their too. thanks

a soul eater and a ghost...

(picture: A taxi similar to "The Ghost"...explanation later)

Sabaah il-kheer,
Late night-last night...Kabeer and I somehow managed to get to the dancing locale. The first few guys to come out were interesting to watch and all, but after like 5 minutes of these guys spinning around you begin to wonder thoughts such as:
Aren't they getting dizzy?
I wonder how long ago they ate?
Is the blood in their body forming little tornadoes from all the spinning?

Now the first 3 spinners were entertaining b/c they seemed to represent the culture of Sufism very accurately (whatever that actually is...I don't know). With that in mind I expected the last spinner to do the same. Ohhh buddy, was I wrong...and thus the weeks supply of fodder for blog humor began. This guy walks out on stage like he's been studying how to accurately portray an overweight Alabama hillbilly for years now. It was excellent! Needless to say, he succeeded like a champ, and while the first 3 spinners gave facial expressions when they were spinning that seemed to say "my communication w/ god is wonderful, I love spinning like a maniac." But the fourth guys facial expressions screamed out "I want to eat the souls of the children in the 1st row" - super creepy - but totally worth the price of admission.

I had to take a picture of the Soul Eater, and I'll have it posted when I get back. It's classic!

After the show, the dancers were getting into their cars and leaving right outside of the building, and I wanted so bad to see which car Soul Eater was driving and take a picture of him in his soul-mobile...however it just wasn't meant to be I suppose. But I bet you anything it was the '76 Trans Am sitting out back. Kick asssssssss.

Got a taxi last night to take us home. The driver nicknamed his taxi "The Ghost" - I really do wonder what the logic behind that was? Seriously - I mean what was going through his head when the decided upon "The Ghost?" I mean why not "The Rambler" or "The Hurricane" (??) Regardless, more taxi's should have nicknames.

Climate: Blahhh
Listening: Sparta
Eating: left over souls of the children in the 1st row.
Thinking: souls better not give heartburn.

If you could spit your morning cappachino all over the Egyptian sky, then you could mimic everyday the weather that we have here now. It's nice temperature wise, but the sky is heavily caffeinated.

Were going to see the Sufi dancers tonight which are called The Whirling Dervishes, and they look like this. I'm exited for the sheer possibility that they just might need a audience member to participate, and in that case...screw women and children first, this closet dancer is rushing to get chosen. I even have a witty comment all ready just in case. I'll say (acting surprised - of course, and addressing the audience) "Behold my fellow Egyptians...for what your about to witness is a dervishing whirl honed and crafted in middle America!!!" Everyone will laugh (even though you didn't) and shower me with love and gifts. I can see it now.

*snap* (awake from state of exaltation)

ok, sooooo class was fine today, and everthing that should be properly in place amongst my orbit of small things...is - so I'll get on to the obligatory ending of my blogs, and be on with business, and let you all enjoy your Saturday morning. Hope all is perfect where you are! xoxo

Climate: Starbucked
Listening: Bloc Party/and a 15 second clip of something special
Drinking: Strawberry juice
Thinking: Worldwide suicide...see for yourself.

http://theskyiscrape.com/ (i'll always be a sucker for them...and i don't care what the Whirling Dervishes say)

I take much pride in how I rip photograhphic creativity off of other people from the internet, and I don't feel like changing my ways anytime soon. Today, behold the magical specticle that is the inside of the "Mini-Bus!" This is what I've been raving about. This picture is fairly accurate, except to gain the full authentic experience, the door on the right hand side should be open with a young boy hanging out yelling the destination, then ducking inside to handle all the tickets, complete w/ accurate change, and a smile.

I've discovered this new bread from the bakery near by. It's sweet and soft, and I think I'll get one every day from here on out. I'm becoming a carb-maniac.

I'm also going to start a pool amongst everyone who reads this (4-5 people?) over how long I get delayed in Milan. I have my money on a 2 hour delay. Please submit the time slot you'd like to be put down for. The winner gets something...just not sure what yet. I promise to not purposefully delay my aircraft to win my own pool either - that's just sad. (secretly researching common complications among Boeing 767 window shades that may delay on-time status) *just kidding NSA*

Climate: pleasant...it's breeding weather for African flies.
Listening: Sparta/DFA79/The Strokes/Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Eating: sweet n' soft bread yum yum
Thinking: The Cubs starting rotation is constantly on my mind.

Does anyone remember when Joey from Blossom would say "Whoa!" I say that because Kabeer claims to know the girl who played Blossom whom he met while attnding UCLA. I immedietly thought of Joey though - saying his signature word.

On a more serious note, I have a dear friend who recently arrived in Iraq for a tour of duty. He comes from the Schriever family of which I was once apart of, and I last talked (via email) to him from Virginia right before he departed for that mess in the sand. When Timmy and I would be on an Alpha or Sierra unit, we would always listen to the Art Bell radio show, and laugh at the loonies that called in - even though they were probably more sane than us at the time. We even had a special tape of old Vietnam music that we would play when we had to respond to something. We'd be the only unit responding to incidents involving multi-billion dollar government equipment with Jefferson Airplane, or Nancy Sinatra coming from the speakers while hauling down Falcon Parkway. It's not that we didn't take our job seriously, it's just that we were that good! Ohhhh! ;)

Anyway, if you could - keep that crazy bastard in your thoughts and prayers.

Went out last night w/ my new buddy. We went to see some Egyptian dancers who spin around at excessive speeds and then claim to be in such a euphoric state that they can communicate with god. However - we didn't get to make the show, due to un-controllable events outside our power, so we'll try it again on Saturday. It was a nice night.

A mini-bus was involved, and it was excellent!

Climate: Sunny, warm, windy. 60-70
Listening: Alkaline Trio
Eating: danish
Thinking: Iraq's not that far away...If I see Timmy's batman-like signal for distress, I'll be on my way...Chris won't be far behind as well - I know.

This picture is of the Khan al Khalili market I went to last weekend, and I bought my chess table from a shop quite similiar to what you see to the right. Just add in about a thousand people. (we also had pomegranate juice from a bar that claims to have been open for the past 200 years-straight...called Al Fishawy)

Horse riding is possibly on for this Friday...stay tuned to your local news station that day for reports of "American attempts to climb pyramid with horse - gets halfway up - arrested after 3 hour horse chase through streets of downtown Cairo."

Tonight Kabeer and I are meeting up w/ Tanya for fruit juice and to discuss an adventure not yet determined...but rest assured, a mini bus will be involved...hopefully with me on the inside.

Climate: Sunny, partly cloudy, 65...a little windy.
Eating: ice cream (cookies n' cream)
Listening: Sparta (as much as I hate the breakup of ATDI, I am grateful for the creation of the two bands that came to b/c of it)

So I promised you a picture of my motivation for the whole beard growing derby I'm currently racing, and I shall not disappoint. Just look to your right. I haven't had a haircut in forever as well, so only if I can start growing massive amounts of chest hair, perhaps I can perhaps intertwine all three bodies of hair??

(Kabeer just called me over to his computer with a sense of urgency "have a listen to this mate!" and I thought it was going to be something profound or at least somewhat intelligent, for he's a fairly smart guy, but instead it was a recorded sound of a fart...ahhhh, the universal "male" method of laughter-apparently???)

I have not much to report...the weekends (begining tomorrow) will pick up in regards to events reported...so cut me some slack huh? But instead I've decided to relay last nights events for your 'blogging' pleasure.

Soooo, I'm doing homework at the dining room table and I look behind me during one of my stretch breaks (I have a tight back) - and what do I notice...none other than an extremely elaborate display of oversized Christmas lights (I don't know how else to describe them other than Christmas lights...and I certainly know they're not called that here). These lights were strung up throughout the perimeter of the park my apartment overlooks, without regard to coherency or with respect to symmetry in the least bit. All of this and in the middle of said display is none other than a gigantic mechanical mirror ball! "Whoa!" I thought. Whoever thought of this horribly tacky igenuity needs to be immediately commended with a statue in his name, or the keys to the friggin' city - something! I mean - about time!! It's like a big Christmas light monster decided to puke all over the neighborhood. This is what we in America like to call "reduction of property value"...oh, no - not here in Cairo...this is absolutely excellent to every degree! It's like Christmas and my high school prom all mixed into one! Annnnd it's going to be an every night event! I seriously feel like going to buy an oversized tuxedo, and singing Christmas carols or something! It's officially official...I'm never coming home!

I've also been thinking of ways of completing the trifecta (wrong word usage - I know) by incorporating "Halloween" in with "Christmas" and "my prom" theme. And how will I do this you ask?? Well at about 11:50 every night, I'll simply play MJ's Thriller at full blast! Think of it - for real. All of a sudden you hear MJ singing "It's close to midnight...something evils lurking from the dark..." I'll even break out a few moves from the balcony, or dangle a baby - whichever is more available.

Now you see Chris, Beth, and I have been advocating for along time now that you can solve the whole 'world peace' thing simply by promotion of Michael Jackson's music. No - no - no...you laugh, but if Rocky can solve communism by boxing, what makes you think MJ can't take care of the rest?? Oh, how can you say that Moammar Qaddafi wasn't listening to "Man in the Mirror" right before he gave up the prized Libyan weaponry - Hmmmm - coincidence? I think not!

OK...I apologize for the childish blog, but I'm in a pretty good mood these days, and I'd imagine it's coming through in my writing.

Climate: perfect...sunny, clear skys, 60-70
Eating: Vanilla milkshake
Listening: Sparta...(I know...what no MJ?)
Thinking: ...an insect is stuck in the venice fly trap that is my beard.
Wishing: I was playing catch with Kerry.

Hmmmm. Well hello.

It's about 5 in the afternoon here, and it was a great day, a little hazy, and some sprinkles are starting to come down now...nothing much though, it'll drizzle for about 20 or so minutes, and be gone. Perhaps just enough to make the windshields require a quick wipe or two.

Met up with Aziz and our new friend Tanya (she's the Canadian I mentioned in a few blogs back) for some fruit juice (I had banana, and lemon) - I bring this up mainly because neither Aziz or myself are Muslim, while Tanya is. She recently converted, but a meeting involving two non-Muslim guys and a Muslim girl in public is still fairly uncommon around Medinah Nas. For instance, my landlord doesn't allow alcohol or unwed girls into the building. It's a super conservative society. But it's interesting because it's perhaps a look into the future as far as a more 'progressive' Muslim approach from the the female sector?? She only wears the head wrap because of pressure from Egyptians, but back in Germany she dresses how she pleases. I can keep going into it, and perhaps will at a later time, but I'm afraid I'm making you fall into a deep slumber.

Anyway, I've been recruited to be a camera man for a upcoming action movie. I'll be securely strapped into the back seat of a car, while she attempts to drive the streets in Cairo...I know, I know - driving here is a dangerous enough activity, but I feel as if the cause is noble, and I'm all about the thrill. Maybe we can post it on the net somewhere.

I also am including a picture of a scene that resembles something I see everyday. It's not my photo, but downloading my personal pictures (here) other than what I've already included on the yahoo site is an extreme hassle, and I'm not too fond of encountering such a cluster anytime soon. So enjoy the donkey!

I'm also growing a beard...I haven't shaved in some 2 weeks, and I feel as if I can get away with it here...it's really not attractive in the least bit, and it itches like crazy, but I'm determined...and tomorrow, I'll show you a picture of my motivation for said beard.

Climate: Pleasant...60-70? Hazy
Listening: Sparta (both albums)
Eating: fuul...blah
Thinking: About going to Alexandria - again.

Today's been a good day thus far...really warm, sunny (like 70). Good start so far. Class was stimulating...I like it best when we spend the majority in dialogue with each other, which is what we did today...class was like one big conversation. Two classmates of mine asked if they could speak with me after class, and I said "yeah, sure...we'll walk and talk" - but being a clever little fox, I knew that this was a recruiting attempt from the Muslims. Soooo along were walking and their all like Mohammed this - Mohammed that, Ramadan this-Ramadan that...blah blah blah. However the whole time their talking - I'm thinking "How's Kerry's rehab, Prior must be itching to get back to All Star form, geez..so many Astros to strike out, so little time." Then they were like "Ma-Salamma" (goodbye) - and I was like "who are you guys?"

Aziz and I are going to try to find a place to watch the All-Star game tonight - he's a huge NBA fan! This weekend is a potential trip back to the pyramids where we can get horses instead of camels...aaaand they let you actually take them running about a mile outside the pyramids...30 pounds too (6 bucks) - can't beat it? Finally I get to be on a horse while it's running...you know what the means?? Well, why don't I just let you refer to the picture for that description.

(it was either that, or re-enact the scene in The Never Ending Story where Atreyu loses his horse in quicksand...but the odds of that happening just aren't in my favor...however opening that baby up like she was Seabisquit-is!)

Climate: excellent 70's or so
Listening: Talib Kweli
Eating: Fatiya...it's like a big pizza puff, minus the marinara, and add goat cheese.
Thinking: not much

It was recently brought to my attention from a friend that when Chuck Norris shaves, he just kicks himself in the face - because only Chuck Norris can cut Chuck Norris! I really felt that with all that's going on in Egypt these days, that this was the most important info to relay back to the states.

Met a super cool gal today on the way back from school, she's from Montreal-(I was like "Hey, that's my fake nation of orgin?") so I had to be honest this time - but it's fine. She is a level ahead of me, and studies in Germany actually. She came up to me asking for a light (by the way-everyone smokes here) and I so profoundly reply back "oh, no sorry...you have really well English" - is "really well English" even proper grammatical structure? (Marian or Lucy - help me out on that one)...it just sounds funny together...maybe I should have opted for the Spiccoli-like "whoaaa dude, sweet English" response? Anyway, it was nice to speak with someone other than Kabeer or Aziz for a change (even though their the best).

ok, not much today - you all get to go home early.

Climate: Windy/Warm
Listening: nothing
Eating: nothing
Thinking: nothing

I got attacked by a wild herd of adorable kids last night...might I add that the herd was fronted by Heendy...my new best friend. If she's not careful I'm gonna go all Angelina Jolie on her ass and adopt her. She brought along another girl (Hannete??), and I swear her parent's purposfully put a gap in her teeth to make her more cute...I was all like "awwwwww" and they were all like "give us the cash, rich boy" Without trying to gain "nice-guy" points with y'all, I'll just say that the "Heend-Myster" gets taken care of.

Kabeer, his friend, and myself went to the Khan Al-Khalini souk (market) throught the entire day today...and I can now say I'm a proud owner of a not-yet-made chess table. I bought it from this tiny shop along the outer perimeter of said market, and it was nice because the guy was probably the only shop owner not outside hagglin' you to come inside - "hey mister, I got what you want" or "hey mister, have a look" - I totally understand though, it's part of the game, and it's their livelihood. My guy knows his work isn't reduced to hagglin' folks in. Anyway, so the guy (Mohammed) and I were wheelin' and dealin' for a long time, and it wasn't so much dealin' as wheelin'...you see, he's making it especially for me...everything! So you can't really bargain with that...well, you could, but I'm gettng a fair price, and I respect his market, and his work on display. It's a good price though. I designed it personally (every single detail), and he was sooo great about it. I'm having some phrases inscribed in Arabic along each of the 4 sides. The phrases will be as follows:
"I own Guy Voss"
"Check-mizzle my dizzle"
"Yes - I can swim, don't listen to Chris"
and finally
"I own Guy Voss"

I'm serious about the phrases as well...just not he above mentioned ones...or am I?? Muah ha ha ha! I doubt however that Snoop's language is translatable??

The Souk was insane...I can't really do it justice by writing about it, it's just something you have to experience...thin alleyways crowded with so many people, little shops crammed into every available space. The souk itself is in Islamic Cairo, and had been around I think since the 14th Century. One of the most important Mosques in the Muslim world is located right across the street, and got to see some demonstrations by the Muslim Brotherhood as well (riot police were in full gear, in case something happened). If I remember correctly, the souk is one of the few places that the State Dept has told Americans to stay away from...but I'm Canadian, so whatever.

I'm kinda tired, so I think I'll go for now.

Climate: Perfect! couldn't ask for a better day.
Listening: DFA79
Eating: Fool with crumbs (pssst, the crumbs are potato chips)
Thinking: I own Guy Voss in chess.

Hello-
I'm sure you all know by now about the rough couple of days I had when I first got out here, however, what I failed to mention on top of all the other stuff is that somehow, someway, during my flight from Chicago or Milan (I haven't figured that out yet), I ripped a hole in my jeans. Now not just any hole, this hole was strategically placed right below the ummmm groin (I'm so serious about this too). This answers my curiosity as to why Cairo seemed to be so "breezy" when I first stepped outside. Anyway, I finally got around to having "Groingate" (get it?? Watergate...ahhh it sounded funny in my head) sewn up, and got them back last night. They did wonderful work, and I felt I got a fair price. Now, I can put the hop back in my step, without...oh nevermind, I'll just stop there.

Not much going on this weekend, just kinda kicking back. Went out w/ Aziz last night, had dinner, coffee, all the usual Cairo stuff. Got a late night snack at my favorite joint across the street from the apartment, and ended up staying their for like a half hour chatting with the locals. Have I mentioned how nice these people are? Got said snack on the house, but I paid anyway.

Stay tuned for a possible transaction involving me/some dealer at the market/and a chess table, which I now know after careful research can be shipped home by Alitalia Airlines at no extra cost...I'll just have to do some creative packing.

I've also realized that I had my settings on this blog to strict, so in an attempt to eliminate my 1950's style Soviet socialist 'blogging - I'll be trying a new approach in which I will attempt to bring you a more fair, balanced, and represenitive blog. Comments will now be acepted from anyone, and you don't have to sign up for an account to do so...so I'm expecting some feedback...let me know you're out yonder.

Side-note: Chris, I've already heard about your "buy 3 man thongs-get the 4th man thong free!" shopping experience, so no need to comment about it here. :)

Climate: nothing to brag about...
Listening: ...trail of dead "source, tags, and codes"
Eating: Koosree (a unique little pasta mix, with some hot sauce...Mmm Mmm Good)
Thinking: about a trip to Alexandria.

no blog today. instead - enjoy this culinary advice:

Bananas will go black if you keep them in the fridge, but they'll still be all right on the inside.

It's raining this afternoon out here in North Africa, and while I was walking here, I noticed that I could see the droplets of rain ahead of me, and I could see them hitting the puddles and making ripples, and then it struck me that I seemed to have wondered into some sort of alternate sphere where all meteorological laws of physics somehow didn't apply to me, because I simply wasn't getting wet? It's as if the God of weather phenomena was playing a prank on me or something. Weird - just thought I'd share with you my recent experience. Please feel free to share any such weather phenomena that may have occured to you.

Went to a house party last night (What???). Yeh - I did, for real. Apparently one of my roomies new a guy that new a guy that new of a guy, who heard something about a party from a guy on the street. So - we thought we'd go. It was put on by the homeboys who work at the French Embassy here, (and we actually were invited despite my aforementioned lie) and it was a swell time (did I just say swell?). I had interestng conversations with a bunch of really nice people, and met a guy from Maine. After the initial "cool - you're from America too" reaction...I felt as if my territorial novelty of being the only Westerner was threatened, and I soon urinated on his leg (just to let him know who the real novelty was).

I also wanted to bring a gift as a sort of thank you for hosting this party, so I attempted to purchase a French flag at the store - they were all sold out, so I improvised with a big white bed sheet. (Ohhhhh, no I just didn't say that, yes I did.)

That's it. I have a midterm tomorrow, so I better put the 'stud' in study. Ohhh, Happy Valentine's Day!

Climate: rain rain go away...come again another day. 50-55 degrees?
Listening: Mark Farina "Dream Machine"/controller.controller
Eating: my words
Wishing: the rain would go away...whoa, kick ass, it just did...ummmm, how about a moped with phat rims...damn.
Etc: I dropped my Canadian cover story last night for fear of them wanting to speak French to me.

I often find myself clarifying things that I've said an awful lot these days, so to keep with tradition...let me clarify a few things I said in my last blog-a-roni.

Arabic as a language has changed...it's classical Arabic (which I study) that hasn't changed. It's a bit frustrating at times, because when I speak Arabic to the locals, they often times have a hard time understanding me, because they [Egyptians] speak a different version of Arabic called Foosa (sp). To make it more clear, it's as if someone were to come up to you and speak in Shakespearean verse. "Nor hath Love's mind of any judgment taste." It would be strange, but with a little thought you'd get the picture.

Living in Da Nas-
Medinah Nas is a upper middle class area of town...and it's a complete 180 from Central Cairo. I live directly in front of a little park, with all the cute shops that make up a cute little neighborhood. Everyone knows everyone...when I dropped off my laundry the first time, they didn't even ask where I lived...they already knew...kinda creepy, but charming enough. Not a day goes by that I don't find myself walking next to or alongside a donkey and his cart. Stray dogs and cats are everywhere...EVERYWHERE. I've never seen another American in these parts, and having a hard time remembering if I've ever seen another white person?? I get looked at ALL the time over here, and it's b/c they are not used to seeing folk like me...that's it - really. Egyptians always want to know first what your religion is, and second where you're from. They be curious little furry creatures. They're not offended if your not Muslim, they just think I'm missing out.

If you're to travel though Al Qahirah (Cairo is a European invention), do it by Mini-Bus! This is by far the best way to go...you can go anywhere for a pound and a quarter (roughly 20 US cents)...Mini-Buses are these crappy little vans that drive by, and a liitle kid will shout out its destination...if it's what you want, you jump in...they pile in people, so prepare to be crammed. I've had to literally hang on by a seat cushion while the van was so full, we had to open the door so everybody could grab some room...yours truly was obviously the last one on, thus allowing me to observe a moving vehicle from the outside of said vehicle. I love it though, it's such a blast. They undercut the taxis big-time...Taxis are pretty cheap as well...rarely will you pay over 5 us dollars to go anywhere in the city...keep in mind it can take an easy hour to just get halfway through the city. The driver's try to screw you in the end, but if you give them a fair price, you can just walk away and I usually like to say "scram, beotch" to make my point. Nooo. The roads are just so insane here...anything goes, and I've already been in one mini-bus accident (minor...fender bender), and at least a hundred close-calls - seriously though.

Climate: Desert Delight...it's becoming consistently nice here...much to Jonny's Delight.
Listening: ATDI/controller.controller
Eating: bread
Price of Petrol: After calculations...a whopping 0.70 US cents a gallon...heavily subsidized...I'm guessing.
Wishing: I was subsidized

Sunday, 3:08 pm. Begin-

I had a special story for my Sunday Edition Blog, which involved me staring directly into the sun too long, melting retinas, thus causing a freakish Northern Lights effect overhead in the sky - but a friend of mine emailed me some questions just now, so I think I'll answer them here, so everyone can benefit. How's that sound, huh...(hope you don't mind Lucy).

1 - big one... how's the safety factor? how do you feel in terms of being an American in an uncertain part of the world?
The safety factor doesn't really seem to be a factor, however, with that said - my safety gauge is always on high (I had said gauge installed before I left, right between my Femur, and Patella(take that Dr. Beth!). Then again, take my perception with this in mind. I live in Medinah Nas (which translates quite literally into Nasr City), which is in the North-East side, and is a upper middle class area (Egypt standards...think Cabrini Green-Chicago without the crime). I'm totally secluded from tourist life that downtown Cairo, and the Western influences that other - more 'trendy' areas offer. I am for certain the only white guy walking around town here. So I haven't noticed anything to be concerned about, mostly because there's no need for it...all the embassies/gov buildings are in Central Cairo, and that's were your sure to run into problems - if such arise.

2 - what's your plan of action? are you there mostly to learn the language and travel, or are you thinking of getting a job and staying longer?
The first two - yes. I talked myself out of the third. I'm here until March 5...I'm trying to be convinced into staying longer, but I feel as if I'm getting what I wanted out of this duration. Plus, the pollution is just horrible, and I haven't been that impressed with the food either (my falafel god is excluded...obviously).

3- how difficult do you find the language to be? I know immersion is the hands-down best way to learn, but it's very overwhelming initially
Arabic is one of the most difficult languages to learn, and it's super tricky when attempting to speak it...you have to train your voice to perform sounds that it's not accustomed too, and while with the English language you can have 10 different ways to pronounce a word, and people will understand you...Whilst with Arabic...forget about it...it's pronounced today, the way it was when it first began. The slightest slip, and the word is all discombobulated (big word of the day). I often find myself speaking in cave-man Arabic to get my point across more quickly when out on the street. "Me...want...food...I...hungry", and I usually pound my chest/itch head for good measure.

4 - have you had any sort of political conversations with the locals (provided they speak English)? maybe it's a redundant question, but what are the current sentiments towards the States? and do they differentiate between the politicians and the civil folks? (which are ******(censored for Grandma) up in their own right, but not as dangerous as Dick & Bush, Inc. )
Only a select few know that I'm American...I'm under the cover of being a Canadian (from Saskatoon...Saskatoon?? I like the way it sounds) citizen to specifically avoid any hostility. When my roommate and I hung out for the first time, he mentioned to a vendor that I was American, and in return, I got the whole finger across the throat gesture, so yeh, that's why I don't broadcast my nationality. I have had though political conversation with a few Egyptians here, and it's very clear they don't care much at all for our current administration, however they do differentiate between politics and citizenry. They find us weak because religion lacks from our government. I'd love to get into it more, but I won't right now.

Tastiest Dish: Anything from Galaal...

Tomorrow: Transportation, and more about my neighborhood.

Thanks for the questions Lucifer, and I will provide documentation of any sources sited.

Climate: 65/sunny/all around...good
Listening: At The Drive-In
Watching: nothing
Wishing: for some mint chocolate chip ice cream
Thinking: With so much drama in the LBC, it's kinda hard being snoop d-o-double-g.

end Sunday 3:09 pm

I sucked so bad in class today...I was seriously sling-bladdin' it through.
Prof: Jonathan, do you know the answer?
Me: Mmmm, taters...Mmmm fried taters...Mmmm

I'm solely making fun of myself with that comment as well, it's the best descriptive analogy I can think of right now.

To clarify - if I may - The Citadel is a big fortress(y) looking building that the rulers of ancient Egypt (post-pyramid time frame) lived behind for 700 years or so...offers the best view of Cairo, and was built "100% Crusade Proof" Ha Ha take that Christians!...oh wait, nevermind...Doh!

Egypt won...place went nuts...I enjoyed it all by being the creepy guy in all black watching from the balcony...looking like a cross between Johnny Cash and Mr. Burns. Like I said, I was tired, a bit cranky, and I think I had a headache at the time as well.

Climate: Islamic paradise Clear blue sky, 65 degrees or so, and a 60% chance of jihad.
Listening: The Thrills (1st album), and some guy speaking too loud on his cell phone.
Eating: Cheese crackers
Wishing: you were here
Thinking: "Mmmm taters..."

I'm going to let y'all off the hook easy today. It'll be a short one. Saw the Citadel, and within the Citadel was the national police museum, but more unusual was that inside this was the assasination museum...with no mention of Sadat?? And then it was off to the military museum (which is also in the Citadel) and they made their war w/ Isreal seem like it was a draw or something...but let's face it...it was no draw. That's like calling Muhammed Ali's 3rd round TKO against Jerry Quarry in Atlanta a draw (note: I just googled that info). I suppose this is how reality gets distorted. I wish I could remember that saying about how future generations will remember a certain era in history is solely by the ones who write it. Anyway - the big football game is today, Egypt Vs Cote D'Voire for the Championship. This place is out of control right now. It's refreshing to see a sense of nationalism that doesn't involve nukes, jihad, natural resources, etc.etc

I'm tired for some reason, so my plans right now are to sit out on the balcony and listen to the neighborhood react to the game as opposed to watching the game. I don't care much for football anyway. Annnnd a friend emailed an interesting way of looking at things that has hijacked my train of thought for the time-being.

All is well here, but more importantly is that all is well where you're at...so is it?

Climate: just fine
Listening: Mark Farina/The Secret Machines
Eating: Fool (looks like mush)
Wishing: upon a star
Thinking: "Damn it feels good to be a gangsta"

oh, p.s. I saw the moon the other night, and it was directly above me...I was seriously taken aback by it...such a weird feeling.

abc...on the street corner

#4

This is a funny story, I think you'll enjoy it.

This happened yesterday afternoon when I was leaving the internet cafe that I usually go to. Upon exiting said cafe, I was confronted by the most adorable little girl looking for spare cash...nothing too unusal about it, it happens everywhere and I've actually seen this girl (whose name is Heendy) a handful of times prior. She had a companion this time though, and he was her adorable counterpart. I usually make small talk while I'm walking with them, and then apologize for not having any money - and be on my way. Welllll yesterday was different...the little boy started pointing at my iPod, and I was assuming they wanted to listen to it...soooo in the matter of minutes, I went from unnoticed bystander, to a much more prestigious title: "American Ambassador of Music to Egyptian Kids." This is a big title to have bestowed upon me, and I took it as such. Read on for how the events unfolded. I know, the suspense is thick.

Soooo scrolling through all the songs, I HAD to find a song that conveyed a cultured American musical experience, yet kid friendly.

The Turtles: "It Aint Me Babe"...Nah, too depressing. PASS
Elvis: "Houndog"...perhaps.
Survivor: "Eye of the Tiger" Nahh that's Johnny G's theme song. PASS
Elton John: He's not even American...PASS
Lipps Inc: "Funkytown" wait, who the hell put that on my iPod? PASS
The Bee Gees: "Disco Inferno" Whoa - wait a minute...American Disco is about as embarrasing, as Egypt's 6 day war with Isreal...some things are just better left untouched. PASS
The Jackson 5: "ABC" BINGO!!!

Minutes later, I had 3 booties shaking on the street corner...2 Egyptian, and 1 American. It looked as if I passed my first test as Ambassador, and I do believe I will retain my new post. As I took out my wallet, to pay them for their over-the-top cuteness to the whole situation, I slowly mouthed in English that "in a few years, that little boy that was just singing that tune is going to write a song called "Bille Jean"...it's gonna change the way you think about life!" (I felt like Michael J. Fox in Back to the Future & that one scene where he was at his parents prom) They grabbed the cash, and scattered...but is was no doubt to the beat of "ABC"

Saw the museum today, it was neat...really great looking building, and I was about a foot away from 9 of the most important men in Egyptian history. It was special to think that these men were responsible for playing out such strange dramas to extremely excessive extents, and to this day, we gawk over how interesting they are. Man can fool man to such great proportions, and it was quite evident this afternoon.


I also recorded a live action scene of Kabeer and I crossing the street...you'll understand/appreciate it when you see it. You haven't crossed a street until you cross a street in Cairo. I'm surprised they haven't made a "Fear Factor" challenge of it.

Ummm. Tomorrow...The Citadel, and the Khan el Kahilil (sp) souk...I'm looking to spend good cash on a chess board, so I best be gettin' plenty of rest, and prepare my game face for some cut-throat bargaining.

Climate: 100% better than yesterday. Sunny, a bit chilly.
Eating: Lebanese fish
Listening: Mark Farina "Dream Machine"
Wishing: I hadn't admitted to having "Funkytown" on my iPod

talk like an Egyptian...

#3
Different computer today...but I can see ol' faithful from where I'm sitting now...I think she's pissed..."whatever, talk to the hand" (move head quickly to left and right a few times). (??)

The weather is just horrible today...complete sand storm, it's like I'm in a scene from "Apocalypse Now"...any moment now, I expect to hear any moment now "Flight of the Valkyries" coming from Robert Duvall's calvary of helicopters, as he roars over the rooftops.

Egyptian folks are too nice...out of all the places I've visited/lived, Egypt takes the cake - hands down - in measurements of "niceness" I stopped counting past 10,458 for the amount of times I've heard "welcome to Egypt!" I even subtracted the welcomes that were followed by a muffled yet audible " ...you stupid cracker"...so the sum is still impressive - you see. I've been given a handful of ad hoc Arabic lessons...most notably in a department store from an eager gentleman whose name I can't remember now, but was all the willing to poor me some tea, and go over some grammar and things of the like. I just couldn't see that happening at Elder Beerman? Well now that I think about it, that's pretty bad business, b/c I was took up about a half hour of this guys time...Ahhh, whatever, their a developing nation...who needs customer service.

My weekend officially begins now...sooooo don't be too jealous...just a little though (smirk...wink).

Climate: Apocalyptic
Eating: an apple...tricking myself to believe it's pesticide free.
Listening: The Dandy Warhols
Wishing: Ted Danson didn't ruin "Gulliver's Travels" for me.

#2

#2

I'm not sure if I'm posting these right, I'm hoping all these blogs will be under one headline - that being "Cairo, Egypt"...so if it's not and it's in under a whole new headline, then I apologize, and will figure it out soon enough. Part of the problem (if I can make an excuse) is this computer...it has issues with me, and I with it. It never lets me scroll to past pages I've visited, so if I make a mistake deep within a site, I can't just hit the trusty back-button, but rather I have to go back to the actual homepage itself, and start all over again. It's a reoccuring problem, I'm the one who keeps choosing this bastard-computer in this cafe...it sits all alone in the corner - secluded...calling out to me like all yoda-ish and gargled, and if it had legs, one would be causing it to have a limp. I'm sure you've all had computers like this. I'm just hoping one day it'll realize I'm not here to disable its cookies, I'm just here as a means to the ends...simple - really

ok- business time. Today's topic will be about my walk to and from school. It's an interesting walk. I leave about 10:30 which is like...I think 1 or 2 in the morning back in the US of A. Sooo it's about a 20 minute commute, and after crossing the highway type road, it's a totally different world...I first encounter the market, which is really awesome...anything you could ask for in regards to fresh food is here...fruit, veggies, live chickens running around or cooped up (bird flu anyone?), you name it. Donkeys pulling carts, ladies balancing asymmetrical things on their heads...really interesting. Things take a downward turn when I head into the worst living conditions I have ever had the displeasure of viewing...the kind you see in the commercials...the first week or so, I was expecting Sally Struthers to like bust through one of the brick huts like the Kool-Aid guy used to do, and ask for money. These kids are sitting in the road, dirty as can be, playing with odd objects as makeshift toys. They used to look at me with curious eyes, but I'm afraid they've become familiar to me by now. The other day a little boy came up to me for some cash, but settled for what was left of my water bottle, I try to make it a point now to have some water on me for one of the little dudes out there. Not much, but something - ya know.

Ummmm, on a side note...my muscles are turning into a porridge like substance, and my bones are fragile...in other words, I'm becoming soft and weakling-like...I'm like Sponge Jonny Square Pants. Maybe I'll do some push-ups or something tonight?? Nahhhh, there's falafel to be eaten. What was I thinking? I'm serious a falafel machine out here...I walk into the deli, and order like 5 pitas of it, and everyone is like "ohhhhhhhh" in amazement. Maybe I can arrange a falafel eating contest out here or something...I'm sure to win...and plus - I can be all "Bono" about it and "do it for the kids". Yeh sounds like a plan!

Climate: Windy...I have sand in my teeth. Seriously. Along with deteriorating muscles, and bones - I can now add no teeth enamel to the list.
Listening: Mike Doughty "Haughty Melodic"/The Jackson 5
Reading: Same thing as yesterday
Eating: Come on'what do you think?

ok, change of plans - After meeting w/ the board, the majority voted for this method of communication, as opposed to the last - so we're all hopeful it'll better serve the customer (this is you). Sooo when you're feeling curious about ye ol' trip to Cairo, feel free to check this address for current, fresh, sexy, fast-paced details(the board also agreed to a more aggressive/younger marketing approach), and feel free to ask quuestions about anything over here if you have any? I will however refrain from answering questions regarding intimate relations regarding camels (Chris!). So with that said...let's begin - shall we?

Today was another day, and with each passing day - I'm becoming more fonder of this place. This is a far cry from a few weeks ago, when I spent quite possibly the most restless three days of my life...so yeh spirits are up/steady.

I'm happy with my class, I'm learning a lot what I already knew, but it's different this time because now I can take what I learned that day, and try it out on Ahkmed...he's my tumia (falafal) artist over here...he makes the best wraps anyone can ask for, and seems fond of me, and enjoys hearing what I have to say [in arabic]. I'll get a picture of him before I leave...he's too nice. If anyone wants to pitch in maybe we can FedEx his ass back to the states, and all benefit from this culinary stroke of genius.

Sooo that's about it for today...think we're gonna see the Citadel over the weekend...Oh...did y'all know that today (monday) is my 'hump' day...the weekends for me are Thurs and Fri. It's not that hard to get used too though.

Saw a football game a few days ago. Cameroon v. Cote D'Ivoire. I forget who won...let's just say Cameroon, b/c that's clearly more fun to say.

I believe Egypt is playing a game tonight, and if that's the case, then it'll be a good night because for some reason our television gets quicker feed than the other televisions around the area...by like 10 seconds, so when Egypt scores, it's hilarious, we'll mute the set, and run over to the balcony and it's like right on que you'll here the entire block erupt in huge cheers...funny stuff.

Climate - warm/filmy...maybe mid 70's and sunny.
Listening - Mike Doughty/The Jealous Sound
Eating - nothing yet
Reading - Warrior Politics/classroom notes
Drinking - water...and an apple malt beverage of some sorts.